serial of ‘The ‘Free, Ch7. Maggie’s Secrets

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Act One Chapter seven

Maggie’s Secrets

She whispered something shocking in my ear.

Maxie narrating

The morning sun was flooding through the curtains. So I pulled the duvet over my head. Barney had started talking to someone in the wardrobe. Tapping at a keyboard. Then he was back.

-‘Maggie will come and take care of you later on.’– he whispered in my ear.

-‘Okay good.’– I mumbled, snuggling under the eiderdown.

And soon I slept again

I must have slept for about ten hours, I slept all day long.

Waking up little by little to the sound of the wind, whistling and rattling the windows.

And a strange crackling noise..

Peeping out I saw flames. I threw the covers back!

It was Maggie with a sack of scrap wood. She’d made a new fire.

-‘Hello lovely, I hear you had a terrible time.’–

She’d also brought cake, and biscuits she’d made herself.

Nuts and thyme, and special cream for my bruises.

Soon she ordered me into the shower cubicle in the corner and soaped me down deliciously. Like I was a big injured kid. Rinsing me off and tending my various injuries.

-‘Arms up now. Did they hit you with a baton?’-

-‘No no, just some slaps and kicks’.-

-‘You’ll have to move out of here you know, and Barney too, if we can persuade him.’-

-‘I’m not running from nobody.’- I said, quite falsely.

-‘Yes of course. But I’ve got a good plan.’-

She wrapped me up in a warm towel, and set me down in front of the fire, drinking chocolate.

-‘You’ll be all right I think.’– she said. –‘The worst thing is if you go into shock and denial. And feeling dirty and that.’-

-‘You know other girls they attacked?’-

-‘I worked in a victims group in the Free Pool.’-

-‘What? Were you, um, raped ?’-

-‘No way.. Thank fuck for that.’-

-‘Thank not fuck you mean.’- I said cleverly, and we laughed and hugged.

-‘Listen I spoke to Barney today. We can get those police for this, if you want it. We can make a big splash, so they’ll be scared shitless to try it again.’-

She was rubbing the ointment gently into my bruises.

-‘How do you mean? They’re the law, they always win.’-

-‘Not any more they don’t. They’re understaffed and underfunded..’-

The fire crackled and flared, and gleefully spat sparks.

-‘Barney’s made us a chicken stew.’- she said. -‘But it needs more cooking.’- She was hanging the pot by the fire.

-‘But what did he say about the cops?’– I asked, turning. Maggie put a finger to her lips and stood to switch on the radio, a bit loud.

-‘We can find out where they live.’- she said quietly. -‘through the women’s groups in the Pools, I know loads of them. We could shame them, tell their families. Or we could put it out on our radio and TV or.. Or if we let their local CLANs in on it, they’d have them fried with bacon for breakfast!’-

-‘But, but people wouldn’t believe us.’–

I was getting dressed now, trying on the frilly knickers she’d brought me.

Suddenly I was happy. Posing in the mirror I’d broken.

–‘I mean, we’ve no proof of anything. I’m a nobody Maggie.’-

-‘To me you’re a super somebody ’- She came back over. –‘And I wish I had a gorgeous body like yours.’-

-‘My legs are too short. My bottom sticks out, look. Anyway your body’s perfect.’-

-‘A bit fat though. Don’t I look pregnant?’- She laughed strangely.

–‘Pleasantly plump that’s all.’- I said, and squeezed her hand.

She whispered something shocking in my ear.

-‘Barney says he has a video of them abusing you. He wants us to have it and decide what to do.’-

I broke away from her in surprise, my breath catching.

-‘A video? What? There’s a camera in here?’-

-‘Seems so. The German Wizards just wired it up for him.’-

-‘Where is it?’’- I laughed. –‘Groucho’s eyes?’-

–‘Could be. I don’t know that, to tell you the truth.’- she still whispered.

–‘This is weirdo weird. It’s hard to believe, er, if the video exists, what could we do with it?’-

-‘Well one thing we could er, maybe make photos from it. Blank out your face and show theirs. Like, put them on posters, caught in the act…or..’-

-‘Then they’d come and get me for sure.’-

-‘You’d have to be well gone from here, you’ll have to move from here you know that now.‘-

-‘Or my dad will get his nazi friends to track me down. Imagine, Killian Bate, he hates my guts.’- I realized I would have to move on.

-‘The Brother-Hood? Worse than the cops if you ask me, and now they’re funded because..’-

-‘But the police don’t even know who I am.’- I interrupted. -‘I could change my looks again!’-

-‘That would be fun.’– said Maggie. -‘We’ll talk about this later on okay, and see the video. It’s just a chance, and I want you to know everything from the start.’-

I said nothing. The wind rattled the window again.

I could smell the stew beginning to cook. I was ravenous.

-‘It’s scary for me. I don’t want my body all over posters but.. But if it stops other women being attacked I, I’ll just do it. I’ll do anything I can..’-

I can’t believe I said that. That popped out by itself.

Really I was shaking in my short school socks.

She was putting the sofa cushions in front of the fire and we sat down together.

Now she’d decided to brush out my raggy hair.

-‘It’s even more than you think. Things are on the point of changing totally right now, like. The old ways are just going out the window. After centuries of shit.. Really!’-

-‘Good riddance to bad rubbish.’-

-‘If we splash this exposé properly, and go on reminding everyone, it could discredit and discourage all sexist and rape attacks around here.’-

-‘We should go for it then. If we can cover up my face. We could get it on Pools TV. That’d really show them up for the bastards they are.’-

-‘Chuck in a witch’s cat with the cocky pigeons.’- she hissed, like she was casting a spell, she chucked a splintered plank on the crackling fire…

-‘Just the idea gives me a panic attack. But I got my inhaler. Let’s do it..’-

-‘Yeah maybe, but it would have to be done right, like, not just a spectacle I mean, we.. They’re sadistic, it’s not so much about sex at all.’-

I sat cross legged, staring wide eyed into the glowing sparks.

She’d finished my now short hair and knelt behind me, massaging my neck.

-‘In some male circles attacking women is seen as -‘Okay wow and how daring.’- and that… Know what I mean?’-

-‘And we could change that?’- I wasn’t convinced.

-‘We need to talk to some clever people who know how to do it. It’s a campaign, called ‘Spot a Shit-On.’. With the projects and the radios and the telly and the Pools, and, and more stuff.’-

-‘We’ll talk to them, you know them…’-

I heard the stew bub-bubble in the blackened pot.

-‘..But would it really work?’-

-‘We could strike a good blow, like.. To shame the rapist in these fellas heads.’-

My legs were hurting, I stretched them straight, but she moved so I leaned back into her arms.

-‘My tits are small and boring.’- I confided, with a sigh.

-‘You look just fine…’– she said. Though I knew my face was more battered than ever.

-‘..Now that’s enough about that. We won’t decide anything yet, all right?’-

But I had already decided.

It was Maggie made me strong. It was too good a chance to just throw away.

–‘All right. Okay.’- I said. -‘ But what about dinner?‘-

We moved the stew to just simmer and made a salad and got the plates ready. She’d even brought a bottle of their merry plum wine. We re-hung the big blanket over the window, stopping the draft and muffling the noisy wind.

Then Maggie threw herself onto the cushions by the fire, in a flowing Tai Chi roll.

–‘Come over here with me, my gorgeous Maxie Moon.’-

-‘I am here.’- I wasn’t so sure about rolling with this gay lady.

–‘I’ve got another shocking secret. I’ve come here to tell you and Barney about it. It’s a secret.’-

-‘I won’t tell a soul.’- I swore. –‘Maybe you should turn up the radio again.’-

-‘Well it’ll have to be public soon anyway.’-

-‘Is it bad?’- I asked, but I could see it was good. She was beaming and nervous.

-‘No no I hope not, it’s good good good.’-

-‘I’m glad about that, er. What is it then?’-

She rolled onto her tummy, elbows on the rug and grinning up at me.

-‘Well, remember I told you Barney was just an old friend. Well it’s true..um..‘-

-‘What are you trying to say?’-

-‘That I did make love to him, in my room, on the massage table.’-

-‘He did it to you on the massage table?’– I giggled.

-‘Well no, uh, really I did it to him. But he liked it. See I was taking care of him when he was all cracked up and out of it, like..’-

-‘You gave him, er, special therapy.’–

I was surprised and intrigued and nodded her on..

-‘I was putting massage oil on him and he got all.. well and ..’- We started giggling.

-‘How did you get that thing, um, I mean?’-

-‘You’ve seen it then.’-

-‘Not like… inflated.’-

-‘I got up on the table.’-

-‘Oof.’– I said. –‘Only times I got done it was terrible. My dad he..’-

I stopped, I’d said too much, how silly I was.

And suddenly I started breathing in little gasps.

-‘Well, uh, sorry.. your dad? Oh shit no, your father?‘- Maggie was much too clever.

She took my hands in hers and we touched foreheads. She just ignored my wheezing.

But I turned my head away, biting my bottom lip till it hurt.

I’d let slip a secret I hardly dared tell myself!

And Maggie had picked up on it. I shrugged my shoulders again.

Blinking back tears.

-‘Shh, shh. Tell me if you want.’- she said.

-‘It doesn’t matter. um.. I just started remembering things.’- I whispered, sniffing.

-‘You’re blocking it out, sure. You’ll have to tell me it all, okay? So then finally you can really get over it.’-

I felt like I would fall into a black hole. I was going to choke. Maggie was rubbing my back gently.

-‘When he, um. When he started doing things to me… No I c can’t tell it… Why am I still so scared?’-

-‘You’re safe here. You started remembering things he did.’-

-‘Yes coz I’d seen through him and, and he lost his power over me! I’ve escaped Maggie!. And I found a wonderful new friend!’-

-‘Who’s that then?’-

For answer I tickled her waist and we laughed together.

-‘You’ll have to tell me all the dirty details.’– she insisted. –‘If not they can fester inside you.’-

-‘Not now Maggie please please. Um, because I only just remembered. I’ll tell you, uh, later okay? When I’m more ready.’-

-‘Okay but.. I’m gonna make you. Really. A lot of kids, it destroys their whole lives!’-

-‘A lot of kids?’-

-‘Sad but true. Your dad isn’t the only stupid, selfish, ignorant, er, victim of a perverse, uh, immoral system.’-

-‘Sorry?’-

-‘You won’t have to go home Maxie. Unless the cops or thugs catch you. I won’t let that be forced by law, I think I can promise you. And we’ll work out how to protect little Kathy okay.’-

There was a silence, just my horrible breathing. I didn’t dare say any more..

-‘I think you’re strong enough to learn to forget it all and, and even have a good sex life… Hopefully.’-

-‘Yeah sure. Tell me what you did to Barney then.‘- I said, hoping to change the subject.

-‘Are you sure you don’t want to just go on explaining? Now you’ve started.’– but I was shaking my head -‘We’ll talk later then, you just try and remember everything.’-

-‘Tell me your secrets Maggie, they could fester inside you.’- I was really curious.

-‘Yes well.. Well the truth is I’m not into fellas at all myself. For me they’re just dull. But that time was a bit different. It was me doing it to er, him.’– She tittered and blushed.

-‘I wouldn’t know about that.’-

-‘I rode him like in a rodeo. Well, actually I’ve never ridden a bronco. But it took him ages to, uh…you know.. I had to..’-

The image made me crack up laughing.

I started whooping like a cowboy film. Rolling onto the rug by the fire.

But then I couldn’t stop it. Clutching my tummy and kicking my bare feet in the air.

Waterfalls of laughter, washing my traumas down the drain.

-‘How do you make them do it then?’- I spluttered.

Sniffing and wiping my tears.

Then exploding into more hilarity, as she knelt down in front of me, grinning.

–‘Most guys climax before they even get their pants off.’– she said. –‘Don’t worry about that.’-

-‘So is this your good good secret?- I said, controlling my hysteria.

But I knew already it wasn’t.

-‘No way that’s not it. I done it on purpose see. Guess why?’-

At that moment I really saw Maggie super clear, like. My eyes zoomed in on her.

On her tummy and elbows, head in hands looking up at me.

Smiling to her ears and oozing energy.

So I knelt down in front of her

She was yummy and glowing and wonderful.

And I wish wish wish she were here again.

We rubbed noses, joined unexpectedly in a girls kiss.

She showed no sign of stopping so I had to break off.

-‘You’re pregnant of course.’– I said, catching my breath.

-‘Bingo!’– says she. Smacking her lips. –‘And she’s gonna be a girl!’-

-‘Yippeee.’– I whooped again. –‘That’s great Maggie!’–

Then she pulled up her smock and showed me her belly.

I laid my hands on her, half expecting it to jump.

-‘Look look how she’s growing, I’m more than four months gone, see I’m changing every day.’-

-‘You really wanted a kid. I’m so happy for you.’-

-‘Course I did. Course I do. And look at my breasts. They’re all big and pointy already.’-

–‘You’re right, and your nipples are big.’– I touched them with my fingers and she shivered and laughed. –‘How brilliant.’

-‘I want to have a girl. But I don’t want a husband see, I mean, I don’t need a man at all.’- …..[ref.22]

I cupped her tummy in my hands and she put hers on top.

-‘Does she move yet?’- We were holding a baby girl inside of her. –‘Oh Maggie this is great, just great!’-

-‘She doesn’t really move, she’s just floating in there, dreaming’-

She leaned her head on my shoulder.

A tear fell on my hand, next thing we were both crying with happiness, and rubbing the tears on her swollen tummy.

–‘I wish you were my mother Maggie.’-

-‘Huh! You’re a bit big for a baby. We could be like, er, sisters.’-

-‘I’ll take my turn at being mama. Does she have a name?’-

-‘I thought of Moonbeam, she was conceived on the full moon.’-

-‘The kids might slag her off… No no, it’s a grand name!’-

-‘Doesn’t anyone know?’-

-‘Yes, Marie and Joanna. But I thought I’d wait before going public.’-

-‘What about Barney then?’-.

-‘That’s what I’ve come to tell him.’-

-‘What a surprise! Maybe he’ll, um, want to marry you or something.’-

-‘That’s why I’m nervous, I mean, fellas are so weird and possessive. But he’s always been okay, um, and he’s great with kids.’-

She lay back on the pillows and I leaned to listen to her belly.

-‘Look how my tummy button’s opened out, that’s a good sign.’– she said. And I kissed it.

-‘We can manage him, don’t worry, I’ll help you.’-

-‘That’s it yeah, help me. We’ll just make him feel good about it. Half this macho stuff is blokes worrying how other fellas will see them.’-

-‘Oh yeah? But is he really different?’-

-‘I hope so.. anyway we’ll soon find out.’– she smiled. Staring right in my eyes as a silence lengthened.

-‘Maybe you’d like to take up with old Barney yourself?’- she asked suddenly.

-‘What!. I need a family not a partner. Though he is definitely fanciable.’-

-‘There’s all kinds of families you know.’-

The last thing I wanted was a man, or a baby for that matter. But feeling with Maggie was so wonderful, like, holding each other and Moonbeam inside of her, that I felt like I changed in those minutes.

From a silly runaway girl into a real woman.

I was really so lucky and happy to be friends with Maggie Bellows

I felt what it’s like to be pregnant. A bit anyway.

And I felt as if she really was my mother. And my sister.

And my daughter as well. Why not?

And, why not, the Goddess herself. All rolled in one.

Just then Barney came in. We just stayed embracing.

Grinning and snuffling like happy idiots.

-‘Hi Maggie. Hi Maxie.’- It was the first time he’d ever called me Maxie.

-‘Wow you’ve made a big fire.. Mmm smells great.’–

He knelt down and kissed us both, shedding his disgustingly filthy wet coat.

-‘You’re looking much better Maxie.’-

–‘I’m fine now.’– I said. Leaning my head between Maggie’s pregnant breasts.

-‘Pour us some wine Barney. And come and sit here. Your stew needs a little bit more time.’-

-‘Wine, food, fire, I’m impressed. Really I’m curious, what’s the party for?’- He was filling the glasses.

-‘You’ll have to guess the reason why.’– I said.

-‘I’m impressed anyway, and I feel guilty, you’ve transformed my dump.’-

-‘That wouldn’t be all that difficult.’- Maggie murmured.

-‘Just come and sit down. Oh thanks.’– I said as I got my glass. -‘You’re in for a shock you know. Guess what happened!’-

-‘Um..You’ve fallen in love with Maggie, but that’s no surprise, I expected that.’-

I grinned at him and snuggled against her.

-‘Good guess Barney.’– I said. –‘But that’s not the secret.’-

-‘You’re wanted by the police.’-

-‘Yes but no.’-

-‘Um, you’re…’-

-‘Listen to me.’- said Maggie. Her voice suddenly hard. -‘You’ve been my friend since I was a kid, right.‘-

–‘Yes well. We’ve had our moments I suppose.’- He sipped his wine.

-‘No seriously… I prefer to stay friends with you. Just the best of friends. Not your partner or anything .’-

-‘I don’t get it. Neither of us wants a partner, we know that.’-

-‘But I want a baby girl.’-

-‘Yeah well…’- He still didn’t get it.

-‘Will you still be my friend when I tell you the secret?’-

-‘How can I say? Yes I will, okay. Unless you’ve murdered my mother or something?’-

-‘Wake up please… I’m nearly four months pregnant.’-

-‘What? Really? Wow that’s great like, congrats like, I mean, how brilliant for you.’-

-‘I’m glad you see it like that.’-

-‘Of course why wouldn’t I… ‘-

–‘You’re the father Barney.’-

His face went blank. His mouth went slack.

Mister Maguire was totally stuck for words.

-‘Remember that massage session when you were having your schizo breakdown?’-

-‘Um.. sorry did you, um, fill me in… .’-

-‘We made love and I got pregnant.’-

There were a tense few seconds. Then Barney exploded laughing. Hugging Maggie. Hugging me. Swigging and spilling wine. The three of us rolling on the floor, laughing and snorting.

–‘You did it on purpose didn’t you. You mixed some magic milk when I was, er, off the planet.’-

-‘I knew I was fertile those days, yes. The moon was full and I did hope it would happen.’-

-‘You saved my life, then you, you… It’s a planned child..’- His eyes were popping. –‘Hey wow I’m gonna be a gay dad!’-

-‘She’s a ‘she’ not an ‘it’. You’ll have to stop being so wild, Barney, and take proper care of yourself.’– I sounded like my mother.

-‘Okay ladies you win.’- His hands were on his head –‘I’ll do everything it takes.’.. Ref 22 sexuality

Maggie wanted us to keep quiet to tell her family first. We’d have to wait a bit to celebrate.

She would have a baby girl called Moonbeam. Okay well, it didn’t seem such a bad idea at the time.

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NEXT EPISODE HERE Serial of the Free: Ch 8. Christo joins the Anarchists

Author: thefreeonline

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