Act One

Chapter ten..

Horny, Bossy and Wild..

Shaking out the feathers of my giant snowy wings.

Maxie narrating

Maggie’s ‘getting pregnant party’ was wild, but short, because she went home early to tell them all at the Assembly meeting at her house. Barney soon ushered everyone out. Delighted to be a dad-to-be. Ecstatic but exhausted.

–‘You done quite well Barney.’– I said, matronizingly, as I made him help me clear up. –‘You took it better than we expected.’-

 He just grimaced and obeyed me, nodding his crazy mop. Then started to talk fast..

-‘My family will be even more puzzled. But that’s their problem. My problem is I’m falling asleep and I need to send some messages. We’re linking up the CLANS with Civil Defense and the Free Pools, building flood barriers. It’s… ’-

 -‘Leave it till the morning, oh come on.’-  I insisted. -‘We don’t want a destroyed dad.’-

 Then he was stretching… groaning and yawning.

 -‘I could get up really early I suppose.’– he conceded.

-‘Come on now, get into your bed now.’-

How I got off on bossing him about!

But he just really had to check into their net in the back of the wardrobe for a minute, so I stuck my head in with him and watched. I knew already how to open the panel, how to slide the shelf out. How to…

–‘I’ll be here tomorrow morning for a while.’- he said. Pushing back shirts and a jacket. –‘If you like I’ll show you more about how to work these things.’-

-‘Okay yes please.’- I said. –‘ I like computers. Then I‘ll teach you typing if you like.’-

He laughed and pretended to give me a dig.

–‘I’m not that bad, I just never learned it properly.’-

Finally I ordered him out of there. We unfolded his rickety bed, and he set his alarm clock. I even made him hang up all his clothes.

Barney was obedient, grinning and ducking his head, like a big bemused boy. I pulled the thick quilt over him, kissed him on the cheek and tucked him in.

I would kip down on the lumpy sofa myself.

 I got out my sweaty sleeping bag, glancing into the broken mirror, hesitating to undress myself.

For me that was a big deal, undressing when he might see, and the panic was blocking up my throat. But now I felt quite in control, and enjoying myself as well.             ref 22 sexuality

-‘Nice new underwear.’- he said. When he saw Maggie’s frilly knickers.

-‘Stop looking now.’- I said. Watching him in the mirror.

Swiveling my hips and throwing a pose.

–‘I got some clothes from the Free Shop, and I’m getting lots of Maggie’s.’- I said, holding my breath.

As I pulled off her woolly and T shirt, over my head.

-‘She’s growing out of them, isn’t it great Maxie, I’m gonna be a Dad!’-

I picked up my cold sleeping bag to cover myself. For a long second I watched myself and him in the glass.. Poised there, the icy metal zipper tickling my tummy..

I was playing with my fear. Would I take it one step further?

Then I dropped the bag and slapped grinning Groucho on the nose. Replacing the harsh bulb with the shadowy yellow street-light.

That cold couch was no fun at all.

So I dived under the quilt beside him, shivering.

Okay he was still wearing his trendy cut off tights. So I wasn’t that bad, I mean, he wasn’t naked.

–‘Listen Maxie maybe we shouldn’t be, um ‘-

-‘Now you go straight to sleep. We’ll do the talking in the morning.’– I ordered.

 -‘Your sleeping bag?‘ he queried.-

 -‘What for? I got the giant hot water bottle.’-

 

The rain was still pattering at the window. I kissed Barney’s shoulder goodnight, gave him a little hug and lay back.

Peering up at the high dark ceiling and thinking about how great Maggie had been. And all her friends, my new friends now. Marie and Joanna and…

A shaft of street light lay across the ceiling, half blocked by writhing leafy shadows.

It was cold, I shivered again and moved closer to him.

-‘I’m terrified of touching fellas.’- I said–‘Maggie thinks it’s because my Dad did bad things to me when I was little.’-

-‘Really? What a bastard! I was suspecting something like that. But Maxie, in that case, why the hell are you jumping into my bed, like..?’-

-‘You’re not so scary. Maggie trusts you.’-

-‘Thanks a lot. I’m not scary.’- he said. -‘And nothing’s gonna happen okay. I mean, you are very attractive of course, but I’m celibate and I’m mostly gay, and… oh hell I’ll try the couch..’-

-‘No no don’t worry I won’t seduce you, it’s just… I’ve never been in bed with a fella before.’-

 -‘First I let you get abused by the cops, Now you’re in my bed… I mean..’-

 -‘Nothing has to happen. Let’s be friends, really okay. We both got our strange hang ups, see. I lose my breath and wheeze…sort of ..’–

-‘Promise you won’t fall in love with me.’-

-‘Cross my heart with a smelly fart.’-

He shrugged and rolled away.

 -‘Okay then. Cool deal then, you’re amazing.’- he yawned and groaned.

Maybe I could even practice a bit on him, I sniffed at his back.

All my friends were swapping sexy stories.

While I just wheezed and blushed a lot, and clutched my grey inhaler.

            -‘Let’s celebrate being celibate, okay?’- I said, brilliantly.

He chuckled and turned a little. Uncle Barney gave me a little tickle.

-‘Sweet dreams then.’-  I murmured, and squeezed his arm.

–‘Did she tell you about Little Agnes Street?’–  he asked suddenly turning back.

-‘What do you mean?’-

He swung over, leaning on his elbows, but not touching me.

-‘Little Agnes Street. Maggie wants us all to move there, like. And now I’m beginning to understand why.’-

I was lying beside him, and as he spoke I felt my nipple brush his chest. I flinched back with a gasp, but later I just let them touch again, growing hard and bobbly as we talked.

-‘Why, uh, why move there?’- I asked. My pulse was racing.

-‘It’s a whole terrace of houses, semi derelict. They were due for redevelopment ‘- He was talking in my ear. –‘Now they haven’t even got the cash to knock them down.’-

I shivered, half cold, half scared. My cheek was also brushing his, and I giggled and stretched, but that made us touch even more.

-‘Where is it?’– I whispered back, with a catch in my throat.

-‘Where’s what?’-

No answer. We were suddenly melting together.

Touching my bare breasts to his chest. I couldn’t breathe of course, but it was worth it.

Barney rolled slowly away, onto his back.

–‘What, um, did you ask?’-

 He just pretended nothing had happened.

-‘Wow… B-Barney you have super sexy skin… um, oh yes, where’s the house?’-

–‘North side, Ragwort CoOp Pool. It’s an active free Pool, in an old working class area. Very safe, central..’-

-‘You’re a great fella, you get ten points.’- My voice came out pathetically squeaky. –‘You’ll be a great Daddy, now let’s go to sleep.’-

 

I laid my cheek bravely on his chest and felt his breathing.

-‘And the video? Did you talk about that?’- he asked.

I lifted my head. Breathing deep and better.

Blowing away a stray lock of his scraggy hair. He blew back in my face so I blinked.

– ‘Yes, yes we’re going to expose them coppers, if we can. But in a clever way, we have to talk to some women who know how, like.. To make a famous example.’-

 -‘You’re really brave, how cool. I didn’t get the chance to say congratulations, for, um, de-throning Killian Bate.’– he paused.-

–‘That was everyone. The main thing is we destroyed his bullying scam, if you see what I mean.’-

-‘Exactly the plan. But it was you made it really happen. That’s so brilliant.’–  His praise embarrassed me.

 -‘Thanks, but.. Tell me what you don’t like. About me I mean.’-

  -‘Nothing at all, well maybe you’re just a little bit bossy.’- He came out with.

-‘Bossy! I’ll show you who’s bleeding bossy.’-

And I went to pinch and punch him. But he laughed and trapped me with his long arms.

So I wriggled an arm free to tickle him and we arm wrestled, swaying the wonky bed. He was strong but I was tricky.

We stopped. He was separating again. He lay on his back.

I felt a bit rejected, picturing myself cuddling up in his long arms.

I felt that lump in my throat… So I dared myself, trembling and thrilled.

I got up in a squat, like Maggie had done, and I threw my left leg right over him. What a fiasco. Why do I do these things? My left foot slipped right off the other edge of the bed. Okay it was dark.

And I fell astride him. All of twenty centimeters.

Crushing Barney’s balls.

Giving myself a nasty jab in my moist, delectable, private parts.

It seemed he had a tennis bat in the bed.

-‘YeeOww’– I squawked,

And Barney bucked and whinnied.. Like a castrated donkey.

Throwing me forward, so I almost headbutted him full in the face.

My big front teeth just grazed his forehead and I hit the pillow.

So much for Romance. We rolled in agony together.

-‘Jeezus Christ, you’re after mashing me bollox.’- says he.

I burst into tears.

-‘I-I’m so s-sorry it was an accident, I hurt myself too’- We were sobbing together.

No no, actually Barney was now laughing.

Laughing his silly head off while moaning and complaining non stop.

-‘I’ll be okay, relax, I mean… just because you flattened my willy and… and, tried to bite my head off, and…’-

I was examining the scratch on his head. There was blood on my fingers.

-‘Oh My Gaawd. Barney you’re bleeding.’-

 

I really thought he had to throw me out. Out of the bed if not the flat. But he just kept joking and shushed me and put his big bear arms around me.  Either he really liked me or he was bonkers.

I was still sniffling and shaking, but I’d ended up in his arms and it felt good.

So I hung in there and watched myself slowly calm down.

-‘Oh wow. What a big dangerous teddy bear I’ve got tonight.’– he said. Rocking me a little.

Barney just wasn’t dangerous. Really he would be perfect for practicing on, I thought.

But then he began to hum a lullaby.

How could I sleep now? I was still throbbing, but now I could feel myself, like, starting to tingle. Then I was getting this slow growing wave of pleasure, like, washing and rippling up all through me, till I gasped and bit my lips.

I was feeling shaky but wonderfully alive.

I hadn’t drowned, when my Aquarium life got smashed.

I’d scared off the evil serpents who tried to strangle me.

Then I felt that surge of pleasure, starting again and yes please, one more time.

Ha ha yes!. The pathetic Linda Green was rocking, astride a great big nearly naked man!

The rattling noise got suddenly louder. I pulled the duvet back and gulped cold air.

-‘Hailstones, very bad for the gardens.’-  he whispered.

 -‘They say the sea’s rising fast. The.. the ships can’t get through it’s so rough… Will it just get worse and worse till, till the end of the World? What will we..’-

-‘Shush shhh..’–  He kissed the top of my head. Hands lifting under my hips. He rocked me  forwards, and back, and down, and mmm…-‘Shhh shush..’–

-‘He’s showing me how to do it.’- I thought, and repeated with feeling.. -‘Mmmm..’-

-‘Tell me Barney, why is your thingy too big and, er, bent?’-

I know I know..I shouldn’t ask such things.

In fact he kept it hidden in his stretchy Clanner tights.

-‘What? Um, uh, an accident. It got caught in the stable door, when I was a kid.’-

–‘Ow!.. I mean..  Is that true, is it… Um, is it…  um..?’-

Somehow this talking naughty was exciting me even more.

 -‘Sorry. Er.. I call him Dumbo. Not ‘Your Thingy’, How dare you be so rude .’-

-‘Dumbo the elephant bent his trunk, and ran away from the circus ‘-  I chimed merrily.

-‘And he’s not permitted to play, with horny, er, runaway young ladies.’-

-‘Horny! Horny and bossy.’– I giggled and coughed, unromantically.

Then I snuggled down on him and sighed. Just listening to the high wind. his fingers massaging me.. ever so gently. I was floating, higher than ever with shivers of pleasure.

I don’t know how it happens but after a while I got blown away into my flying dream, …

Gone.. just watching the light, winking on the wavelets

            I can feel them rush and tug my feet and whoosh on the pebbled shore

            And I‘m shaking out the feathers of my wings

            Ruffling them out, giant, light and snowy.

            When a stronger gust off the lake, lifts out my dripping feet,.

            Thrilling straight out of my body, sailing out over the rushes.

            Remembering I’m a warrior

            I lean forward, narrowing my eyes

            and shoot right out across the sparkling water.

            I am watching me fly, eyes wide, mouth open, whooping up to the wild swans.

            While my friend massages me, ever so gently.

            Shooshes me on a swaying bed in a high room… 

            I see myself, at some chance point, swooping safely back.

            Crashing into myself in a slap of happy relief.

 I realized I was back in Barney’s arms, I’d never left,

But dripping with sweat and panting like a puppy.

-‘You’re great Maxie, but, um, let’s take a break.’- he was whispering. Trying to yank the heavy cover on us. –‘If that’s okay for you, I mean..’-

And he wiped my streaming cheeks.

-‘You’re right, you’re right, okay.’–  says I. –’Thank you Barney, thank you for, like, taking care of me and,  thanks for.. thanks for…’-

 

I went right overboard with the thank yous.

-‘You’re fine, okay, I like you, I mean. You’re honest and, uh, pretty and wild. Sorry I’m just so sleepy tonight.’-

-‘Pretty wild! Don’t be sorry, thank you I.. how long was I, uh.. ‘-

He growled like a bothered dog and turned away.

So I lay my face on his arm, and breathed deeper and slower. What the hell had happened?

I never meant to make love with him, but now I was a bit sorry that I couldn’t.

I could feel him breathing slower, and longer as well. And he was getting hoarse, would he start snoring? Soon he began to wheeze, like a big baboon with asthma  And soon I knew that he was fast asleep.

I had disgraced myself again, but Barney didn’t take it that way.

How could I feel panic and anxiety when my friend was snorting?

I didn’t make love with Barney that night.. But somehow we ended up as friends.

Maggie and me had examined him and he passed.

I didn’t know how to solve his problems, or cure his fits of madness.

But I did know how be his friend.

He put up with me, as well as putting me up.

I rocked him gently and listened, to the violent wind in the trees.

He really did help me as well and I wasn’t the first. Jerry had hidden out with him when he ran away from that home for juvenile schizophrenics.

Jerry was messed up by his horrible family. He’s totally gay, but his father refused to believe it.

They even tried to cure him in that place, like being gay was a shameful illness.

Barney enjoyed helping us. He got a kick out of working with yunkers, like , giving bad kids a chance.. Him and his pals from the federation wanted to empower people.

Their greatest campaign, was to give power to the CLANS, through the CoOp Pools.

Before that they were classed as delinquents.  Now they thought they were heroes.

I curled and let him sleep and got comfy. My mind still speeding and jumping through all the faces and things I’d seen. I was thinking about the video and all that Maggie had said and what it meant, then Maggie and Moonbeam and how she had told me and Barney she was pregnant.

Maggie my mama? Well, it’s true she did sort of adopt me! To sort out my legal situation through her social worker friends in the Pools.  They got me a judgment through a Pools Tribunal.

Illegal but accepted on the nod, especially in family cases.

I was delighted with the idea of Maggie being my foster mother. The trick was to block an

order. If my dad did get a lawyer he could now only start a case.

And then I was waking again, rubbing up against Barney.

Just breathing in time together without even trying. I was really there, undressed, with my own big sleeping friend. I’d like to have a photo. Feeling really grown up, daring and thrilled. I couldn’t believe it.

But now at last I was really sleepy myself. –‘Horny and bossy and pretty wild..’– I whispered, or did he say pretty and wild. I’d more or less decided I would expose the police who attacked me, and I was imagining already escaping to a new life with him and Maggie.

-‘Breathe deep, go to sleep.’- I reminded myself, not daring to curl up between his legs.

That’s all I remember. I never went home at all, or back to school.

My home and school just fell apart behind me.

It seemed that we had hopped on a roller coaster ride. Destination unknown. With a lot of people hell bent on changing our world. And a decent plan, perhaps, of how to do it.

*****************

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