WWN Guide To Surviving A Nuclear Apocalypse
Category: satire
BREAKING FAKE NEWS: Mexico Agrees To Build Wall Due To Influx Of Illegal US Refugees
January 23, 2017 – BREAKING NEWS, WORLD NEWS
- Tens of thousands of illegal US refugees are fleeing across the Mexican borders.
16.2K SHARES 816 View Comments
MEXICAN President Enrique Peña Nieto has confirmed today that a proposed plan to build a wall between the United States will now go ahead, in a bid to stem the flow of ‘American refugees’ currently attempting to migrate from the Trump-led nation.
Pena Nieto, who previously dismissed President Trump’s proposal to build a 35 to 40 foot concrete wall at the cost of $8bn to the Mexican taxpayer, made the dramatic U-turn yesterday afternoon, following reports of a large scale immigration of people wishing to leave the ‘land of the free’.
So far over 500,000 people are already queueing at various border controls along the current Mexican/US border, forcing the Mexican president to temporarily restrict access to non-Mexicans wishing to escape Donald Trump’s America.
“We’ve been queuing here since Friday,” one father of four told WWN, “we’ve been made stay in a refugee camp along with other Americans. All I want to do is find a better quality of life for my family. Now we’re stuck here in limbo”.
President Enrique Peña Nieto said he will continue the ban on all immigrants until the wall is built, and urged Americans not to waste their time attempting to cross the border without the appropriate documentation.
“Our borders are currently overwhelmed with overweight men, women and children from the United States of America,” he said, “we have no other choice but to close our borders and build this wall to help secure our country”.
Emergency pop-up McDonald’s restaurants have been erected along the border controls to help feed the starving refugees. The Mexican Navy reported it has saved several hundred people from drowning after trying to cross on makeshift rafts.
In a harrowing incident, one desperate family attempted to cross on their 400lb father, who later had to be sunk after the rescue as emergency crews failed to hoist him to the helicopter.
Related
And the United States will be made to pay for the wall!
I wonder how many are wearing giant foam vaginas?! 
487 deaths from ‘That Thing Ireland Doesn’t Talk About’
ACCORDING to the latest available figures from the Central Statistics Office a total of 487 people died as a result of that thing Ireland doesn’t talk about in 2013.
The deaths continue on from a trend started in 2007 which has seen the numbers of people dying from that thing we don’t talk about increase.
While a number of factors have been attributed to the rise, concerns have been raised about the prevalence of that thing among the youth of Ireland.
“It’s troubling, and I want with every fibre in my body for something to be done about it, but look if it’s alright, I’d prefer you didn’t bring it up at all,” spokesperson for the Irish Commission On Things We Don’t Talk About Suzanne O’Gorran told WWN.
The government also stressed its reluctance to talk about the thing, but is said to be relieved the statistics have come close to levelling off.
“That is a relief as we can now look into how to continue to do nothing about it, if we get this right, we could even cut funding a bit,” a government spokesperson shared with WWN. The government confirmed it was available to talk about the recovery, road safety campaigns and sugar tax.
Many members of the public have admitted to being aware of someone they know doing that thing, but owing to the troubling nature of talking openly about something in Ireland, they remain reluctant to speak.
If you would like to talk about it, click.. HERE.
Spain doing Fine: There’s No Government like No Government
Spain Hasn’t Had a central Government for the Last 9 Months — and People Love It
“Only 2.3 percent of respondents in a July poll by Spain’s Center for Sociological Investigations considered the lack of government the country’s major problem, and the figure is getting even smaller.”
adapted from a Derrick Brose post in TheAnti-Media.org.. with thanks
For more than nine months, Spain has existed without a traditional national government. In the face of this lack of central authority and planning, Spaniards have done ”the impossible”: they have thrived without a government.
Spanish politicians warned the people that allowing the national government to fade away could have disastrous effects. However, as the New York Times notes, “the crisis seems to have offered a glimpse of life if politicians simply stepped out of the way. For many here, it has not been all that bad.”
“No government, no thieves,” Félix Pastor, a language teacher, told the Times. Pastor said the people of Spain were better without a government because the politicians were unable to cause any more harm. Rafael Navarro, a 71-year old pharmacy owner in Madrid, told the Times that “Spain would be just fine if we got rid of most of the politicians ...” Continue reading “Spain doing Fine: There’s No Government like No Government”
Pokémon Go Get Em: Opportunities for radicals
from Kate Aronoff, Waging Nonviolence, with thanks
If you happen to have been living under a rock this past weeks, there’s a good chance someone turned it over looking for Pokémon. Pokémon Go, Nintendo’s free augmented reality app, has been as ubiquitous in the news as the presidential election in EEUU.
For the uninformed: Game designers have placed Pokémon and in-game items at specific hot spots around the country, encouraging users to venture out into their neighborhoods or others, and to contest for “gyms,” where they can challenge other players for control of a particular location……
…..The long-term viability of Pokémon-based campaign strategies remain to be seen — only time will tell if the game is a passing fad or something with a longer shelf-life. But so long as rare Pokémon continue to send stampedes into Central Park, can it be used for good?
As Dylan Matthews points out for Vox, Pokémon Go one-ups social media’s ability to draw people out, given that it actually gets bodies moving and to a particular location. Rather than retweeting or liking a post, players have to physically flock to lures. It’s why the Clinton campaign has been so eager to put it to use registering voters, turning up to Poké Stops and gyms. Anyone can place Pokémon “lures,” which attract creatures to a certain area, up around a city — and even more so if you happen to be working with a budget.
Even before the Clinton campaign started using it, NextGen Climate, an environmentally-focused voter turnout organization, had begun trying to put the app to work. “In each of our states, 
NextGen Climate will be dropping Pokémon Go lures in strategic locations, which means we’ll release rare Pokémon in a specific location at a specific time,” said Suzanne Henkels, the group’s press secretary….
NextGen has held Pokémon-themed events across New Hampshire, Ohio and Iowa, complete with lures and recharging stations. In Nevada, they hosted a “real life Poké Stop” and had refreshments alongside “organizers there to register attendees to vote and educate them about the importance of electing climate champions in November.”…
…..But its uses, some . go. b.eyond the ballot box as well. Brandon Holmes — a civil rights organizer with the community organizing outfit Vocal New York — identified several ways the app could bolster grassroots movements.
“The more players you have in an area, the more rare Pokémon will show,” he said, suggesting that players “build a large occupancy somewhere like Trump Tower or divestment targets and constantly attach lures to stops.” Organizers, Holmes added, could even plan marches that route through different Poké Stops, though he saw a challenge in “keeping the attendees captivated and not buried in their phones during speeches or chants … You would need some serious marshaling and the world’s best energy team.”
The Black Lives Matter Alliance of Broward [County, Florida] held an event yesterday at a Fort Lauderdale supermarket “looking for new ways to engage the community around the issues surrounding the movement for black lives,” encouraging participants to bring “water, friends” and “lures.”
Another set of activists are also looking into how the game might bring people out to fossil fuel infrastructure sites within their communities, though opted not to be named in this article as the effort has yet to launch.
One model Holmes saw as instructive was at the famously bigoted Westboro Baptist Church, the site of a gym where a Clefairy (“fairy-type”) Pokémon named “LOVEISLOVE” beat out Westboro faithfuls for control. “If we could find gyms that are solid targets, we could nickname Pokémon after our campaign messaging and organize enough folks to train the gym to be virtually unstoppable,” he said. “We could also name them after our organizations.”
Pokémon might also come in handy for fundraising efforts. After a Long Island pizza shop paid to have a rare Pokémon sent to their store front, sales jumped 75 percent by day’s end. “We could host a campaign-specific fundraiser where [a certain percentage] of the funds go directly to Pokémon Go for a rare Pokémon and the rest go to a specific campaign/action,” Holmes said, noting that this could involve lobbying Nintendo and Niantec, the game’s creator, for the ability to purchase rare finds.
Pokemon Go in Gaza. (Twitter / @Nawajaa)
Jeremy Gong, of the Sierra Club’s San Francisco chapter, was more skeptical. “I imagine that one can only do rather shallow organizing with Pokémon Go — like Facebook events, the game could be great for a quick turnout, but there’s no guarantee those Poké-hunters are in it for the long haul,” he warned. “I don’t imagine a lot of people saying, ‘I came for the Snorlax, but stayed for police reform.’”
Like any other new app or new technology, Pokémon Go is no replacement for the day-to-day work of community organizing and well-timed mobilization.
But it might offer a few more pieces to an activist toolbox that — in 2016 — has never needed to be bigger.
Breaking Irish News..Category 5 Turfnado Headed For Midlands !
Continue reading “Breaking Irish News..Category 5 Turfnado Headed For Midlands !”
”Moronic, cowardly and inhibited.. Erdogan is president”.
So goes the translation of Jan Boehmermann’s poem that he’s being prosecuted for. (see translation below)
But he’s not the only one,. as of 2 March 1,845 Turkish citizens were being prosecuted on charges of insulting Erdogan !
Most of the jibes in Jan’s diatribe are merely scatalogical , but if he’s going to be encarcerated we hope the prosecution will have to prove they are NOT TRUE.
How will they prove, for example, that Erdogan does not ‘have sex with goats’? (consider the Cameron scandal!) Is it true or false that Erdogan’s ‘testicals are shrivelled’? Will they be able to prove without a doubt that his penis is not ‘small’ and doesn’t ‘smell worse than a pig’s fart’? 
And as for the accusation of ‘Kicking Kurds’, there is a lot of evidence that he personally ordered the destruction of the ceasefire and provoked a continuing bloody civil war with thousands of innocents killed, just to win an election and boost his craving to be able to change the constitution ‘to be emperor’. Will they be able to prove he hasn’t ‘kicked Kurds?’ Will the Kurdish parties be invited to Germany to present their evidence? Continue reading “”Moronic, cowardly and inhibited.. Erdogan is president”.”
The Free 
