Houston, is my Vagina a Problem for you?

patriarchs in-your-vagina

Houston, is my vagina a problem for you?

by Nasreen Amina | Mariposas en la Tormenta

As if it wasn’t bad enough, attacking women just for the symbolic category of being a woman, now the system, with a repressive twist against biology itself , is attacking the vagina, with its cycles and natural fluids included.

What’s going on with the vagina? Lately, advertising round the world seems to not want them. Haven’t you noticed? Now there’s one more reason for the system to make us feel something is wrong with us: We have vaginas.

As if it wasn’t bad enough,  the constant  media blitz against our right to be accepted as we are, without having to conform to a stereotype of height, weight, skin color, hair and eyes, the “C-Reactive” audiovisuals”- Yes, because what they’re doing is just feeding ‘Reaction Campaign’ against the emancipation of women.

Faludi dixit – now they want to ‘sell us the cookie’ that not only is it bad just being a woman, but that the cause of all our problems is having a vagina .enzaraPOP

First of all, it’s not the same thing being a woman, as having a vagina. Being “Woman” is a symbolic category unrelated to appearance, gender, sex or sexuality. In the final analysis it’s a personal opinion. Traditionally, patriarchy has assigned the category “woman” in its most stereotypical, limiting and oppressive sense to members of the human species, classified as female according to their appreciable anatomical features, that is, the presence of the vagina .

The media and advertising industry has been selling us pre-packaged patriarchal ideology for a long time now: their strategy against women, is based on the idea that it is wrong to be as we are, that we really should change, that the consumption of certain products can make us more acceptable and above all, much more sexually attractive, which would ensure our success in life: being accepted by Men would ensure our financial and emotional stability and would grant us a place in the great ”Cycle of Life” as reproducers and procreaters – of the Patriarchy, obviously. Thus we would indeed also achieve prestige, and the status of Mother and Wife, so necessary to keep the meat grinding machine running.

It’s a curious thing how this logic works, and perverse to say the least : From the patriarchal mindset, the female has always been associated with nature, its maintenance and reproduction, because of the biological capacity of motherhood. On the contrary the Man is always seen to have  the right to obliterate or modify nature,  to operate machines and transform the environment. However, the industry of culture, run by men and where women are represented as objects, calls on us to denature the natural, to continue to maintain the system running. Appearing to be always 25 years and looking  like a Greek goddess three weeks after childbirth, for example, are totally unnatural mandates, but ones which  this ideology normalizes in its favor.

So we see that now it’s not enough, attacking women just for the symbolic category of being a woman. Now the system, with a repressive twist against biology itself , is attacking the vagina, with its cycles and natural fluids included.

1. – Meanwhile in India: “Your Vagina is NOT  WHITE ENOUGH, darling”BLEACH YOUR VAGINA

Lindi West wrote on the site Jezabel,, an amusing but revealing article, which destroys the ideology behind this commercial 0n India TV. In the video, the poor husband is very hurt and offended, because  his wife’s vagina is coffee coloured. Even seeing a cup of coffee gives him  nightmares, reminding him of the awful color of his wife’s vagina And she in her turn responds to his anti-vaginal depression by getting depressed herself.

Happily, she is intelligent and eager to fulfill their husband’s expectations, including sexual fantasies of white vaginas – in a country of brown people-. In the shower the product “Clean and Dry Intimate Wash”, is applied, promising to BLEACH the vagina and surrounding areas with one solo use and… Miracle! The brand new color of the wife’s vagina restores to her husband the will to live, and saves the marriage from divorce and ruin!

The Product Justification by the  C-Reactive advertisers is that “clear skin reflects the light better” to which  Lindi West responds ironically: “See? It all makes lots of sense. They just want our vaginas to reflect light better, can that be bad? For example, What if my car breaks down at night and I dont have a vagina bright enough to warn the other drivers? Well, maybe a vagina light could replace the fish that glow in the bottom of the sea … maybe I could use it to attract more shrimp and so my husband would approve of me again! ”

2. – Repent Vagina Sinner!

 virgin maker kit
virgin maker kit

Virginity is an important requirement in Eastern culture. The Orientals value women who have not shared a bed with other men. So women, if they are not virgins, looking for ways to pretend that they are.

So no matter if before marrying you have lived your sexuality freely, having boyfriends and orgasms all over the place. You can repent and act as if “nothing at all ever happened here”, There are ways to help support the sexual confidence of your future husband in its rightful place, lest he feel diminished or embarrassed, knowing that you had a joyful happening between the sheets. It would not be right if you got treated as a whore, just for not fitting into his fantasies of control and domination over your body.

Among the methods is the “Virgin Maker” a device that is inserted into the vagina,  acting as an artificial hymen. When the device comes into contact with the male member, it squirts out a red liquid, simulating the blood of first time sex.

This device tells women that what’s really important about their sexuality, is what men think of it. As in many cultures, the man will only accept the woman’s sexuality if he is the first to penetrate her, and the woman must hide all traces of autonomy with regard to her orgasms. As if womens’ sexual desires only begin when we sign a piece of paper and get a certificate that permits us to enjoy our sexuality.

I wonder how many patriarchal males have been well fooled with the tricky ‘Virgin Maker’, believing themselves the first and reaffirming their masculinity due to a little bag of red ink. Ha! My vagina laughs and smacks her big and little lips at the thought of it!

In China there is controversy over the use of “virgin maker” because researchers have established that it could cause infections in the female reproductive system. Special offers have been removed, ads have been erazed from internet websites. They could take the opportunity to try and also eraze from people’s heads the myth that says virginity defines the qualities of women.

3. – Your Vagina needs a plumber


After menopause, the vagina isn’t considered a vagina any more, just a dripping tap. As there don’t exists plumbers to pinch the tube and seal off leakage of fluids, the solution is… ‘Poise’ Wipes.. designed for us,  specially to not be embarrassed by not having menstrual flow. So they problematize  further, the period of life when the woman can no longer bear children for the patriarchy.

Where before the vagina was a dilemma due to menstruation, forcing women of childbearing age to wear all kinds of motley devices, from traditional to high-tech, to conceal a natural fact of biology-now with menopause the tragedy is not menstruating but natural  flow. On top of all the stereotypes that paint women at or after menopause as hysterical, maniacal and non-orgasmic, due to a descent in our hormone levels, they’ve added the idea that the woman is an erratic ejection of urine and fluids, which must be neutralized with endless products, created especially to protect the public and make women feel safe in her “Maturity” (?) thanks to the wipes.

Beware decent citizens! Those women over 50 who do not use Poise can with just one blow, take out an eye with a deadly squirt of fluid spitting from their vaginas!

The truth is that our vaginas are not the problem, it is patriarchy that has a problem with our vaginas, as well as with “Woman” as a being, and the endless possibilities that this implies. As always, the ideology holds us accountable for all the things that only annoy the  Patriarchate. If we know already that finding the perfect woman is a sickening and impossible imposition – because there is no such woman,  and it will always be better to be a full entire woman than a perfect one-  let´s seek to achieve in this life the status of joyful enjoyable vagina, no matter how big , hairy or multicolor it may be because, obviously, the quest for ‘perfection’ will leave us something between the legs that will be anything but a healthy vagina.


translated by The Free, June 2013.


original in Castellano

Houston, ¿Mi vagina tiene un problema?

por Nasreen Amina

El asunto es, que ya no es suficiente atacar la categoría simbólica de ser mujer; ahora el sistema, en una vuelta de tuerca contra la biología, ataca a la vagina, con sus ciclos y fluidos naturales incluidos.

¿Qué le pasa al mundo con la vagina? Últimamente, la publicidad parece no querer a las vaginas ¿Se han dado cuenta? Ahora hay una razón más, para que el sistema nos diga que algo está mal con nosotras: Tenemos Vagina.

Como si no fuera suficiente el bombardeo mediático contra nuestro derecho a ser aceptadas tal cual somos, sin tener que responder a un estereotipo de estatura, peso, color de piel, cabello y ojos;  los “C-reactivos” audiovisuales – Sí, porque lo que hacen no es más que alimentar la campaña de Reacción contra la emancipación de la mujer, Faludi dixit – ahora quieren vendernos la galletita de que no sólo es malo ser una mujer a secas, sino que la causa de todos nuestros males está en tener vagina.

Vamos por partes. No es lo mismo ser mujer que tener vagina. Ser “Mujer” es una categoría simbólica no vinculada a la apariencia, el género, el sexo o la sexualidad. Es, en fin, una opinión personal.  Tradicionalmente, el patriarcado ha asignado la categoría “Mujer”, en su versión más estereotipada, limitante y opresora, a los miembros de la especie humana, catalogados de sexo femenino de acuerdo a sus características anatómicas visibles, esto es, la presencia de la vagina.

Desde hace tiempo que los medios de comunicación y la publicidad venden ideología patriarcal envasada: Su estrategia contra las mujeres, se basa en la idea de que está mal ser como somos, que necesitamos cambiar, que el consumo de ciertos productos nos puede hacer más aceptables y sobre todo, más sexualmente atractivas, lo cual aseguraría nuestro éxito en la vida: Ser aceptadas por los varones, garantizaría nuestra estabilidad financiera y emocional y nos daría un lugar en el “Ciclo de la vida” como reproductoras y procreadoras – del Patriarcado, obvio-  con lo cual ganaríamos el status y prestigio de madre y esposa, necesario para mantener la maquina de moler carne funcionando.18-Again-Vaginal-Shrink-Cream

Es curioso y a lo menos perverso la manera en que funciona esta lógica: Desde la concepción patriarcal, lo femenino se ha asociado siempre a la naturaleza, a su mantención y reproducción, debido a la capacidad biológica de la maternidad; en cambio al hombre, se le ha reconocido el derecho de arrasar y modificar la naturaleza al manejar máquinas y transformar el medioambiente; sin embargo, la industria cultural, manejada por hombres y donde las mujeres están representadas como objetos, nos llama a desnaturalizar lo natural, para seguir manteniendo el sistema funcionando: Parecer siempre de 25 años y lucir como una diosa griega tres semanas después de un parto, por ejemplo, son mandatos totalmente anti-naturales, pero que la ideología normaliza a su favor.

El asunto es, que ya no es suficiente atacar la categoría simbólica de ser mujer; ahora el sistema, en una vuelta de tuerca contra la biología, ataca a la vagina, con sus ciclos y fluidos naturales incluidos.

1.- Meanwhile in India:  ”Tu Vagina NO es Suficientemente Blanca, Querida”

Lindi West escribió en el sitio Jezabel, un gracioso pero revelador artículo, en el cual destroza la ideología subyacente en este comercial de la TV India. En el vídeo, el esposo se muestra muy ofendido y abrumado, porque el color de la vagina de su esposa es muy café. El sólo hecho de ver la taza de café, le provoca pesadillas, al recordar el color de la vagina de su mujer, quien además responde a la depresión anti-vaginal del marido con más depresión. Felizmente, la mujer es inteligente y en sus ansias de complacer las expectativas del marido en torno a sus fantasias sexuales con vaginas blancas – en un país de gente morena- se aplica durante la ducha el producto “Clean and Dry Intimate Wash”, que promete blanquear la vagina y áreas aledañas al primer uso y ¡Milagro! el nuevo color de la vagina de la esposa, devuelve al marido las ganas de vivir y salva al matrimonio del divorcio y la ruina total!

La justificación del producto para los C-reactivos publicitarios es que “La piel clara refleja mejor la luz” a lo que Lindi West responde con ironía: “Ven? tiene mucho sentido. Sólo quieren que nuestras vaginas reflejen mejor la luz, está mal? Por ejemplo, Que pasaría si mi auto se queda en pana en la noche y no tengo una vagina suficientemente luminosa para avisar a los conductores? Realmente, una vagina luminosa podría reemplazar a los peces que brillan en el fondo del mar… tal vez podría usarla para atraer más camarones y así mi esposo me cogería otra vez! “

2.- Arrepiéntete Vagina Pecadora!

La virginidad es un requisito importante en la cultura oriental. Los orientales valoran a las mujeres que no han compartido el lecho con otros hombres. Por lo tanto las mujeres, si no son vírgenes, buscan métodos para aparentar que lo son.

Así que no importa si antes de casarte has vivido tu sexualidad libremente, teniendo novios y orgasmos por doquier. Te puedes arrepentir y hacer como si “aquí no ha pasado nada” ; hay maneras de contribuir a mantener la seguridad sexual de tu futuro esposo en su lugar, no vaya a ser que se sienta disminuido o avergonzado, al saber que has tenido un gozoso pasado entre las sábanas; no vaya a ser que te trate de puta, por no calzar en sus fantasías de control y dominación sobre tu cuerpo.

Entre los métodos está el ”Virgin maker” un dispositivo que se introduce en la vagina convirtiéndose en un himen artificial. Cuando el dispositivo entra en contacto con el miembro masculino, suelta un líquido rojo que finge la sangre de la primera vez.

Este dispositivo le dice a las mujeres, que lo verdaderamente válido respecto a su sexualidad, es lo que el hombre piense de ella; Como en muchas culturas, el hombre acepta la sexualidad de la mujer, sólo cuando es el primero en penetrarla, la mujer debe ocultar todo rastro de autonomía respecto a sus orgasmos. Como si el deseo de la mujer comenzara a expresarse cuando firma un papelito y le dan una libreta que le reconoce el derecho a gozar de su sexualidad.

Me pregunto cuantos machos patriarcales habrán sido bien engañados con el truco del Virgin Maker, creyéndose los primeros y reafirmando su masculinidad a partir de un saquito con tinta china,  Ja! hasta mi vagina se ríe con sus labios mayores y menores del papelón que habrán hecho!

En China hay polémica por uso del “virgin maker” puesto que investigadores han establecido que puede causar infecciones en el sistema reproductor femenino. Su venta ha sido retirada de las páginas de internet. Podrian aprovechar el impulso, para retirar de las cabezas de la gente, el mito de que la virginidad dice algo sobre las cualidades de la mujer.instant-virgin-cream

3.- Su Vagina necesita un plomero

Después del climaterio, esto es, la menopausia, la vagina ya no es vagina, sino una llave que gotea; como no existen plomeros para que aprieten el caño y eviten la fuga de fluídos, la solución son las toallitas Poise, diseñadas para que nos avergonzemos de ya no tener flujo menstrual. O sea, vamos problematizando, aún más, el período de la vida en que la mujer ya no puede procrear hijos para el patriarcado.

Si antes la vagina era un dilema por la menstruación- que obliga a las mujeres en edad fértil, a usar dispositivos variopintos, desde lo artesanal a lo high-tech, para disimular un hecho natural de la biología- ahora la tragedia no es menstruar sino fluir. A los estereotipos que dibujan a la mujer en edad del climaterio o post-climaterio como histérica, maniática y anorgásmica, producto del descenso natural en el nivel de hormonas, se agrega la idea de que además de todo ello, es una errática expulsora de orina y flujos, que debe ser neutralizada con un sin fin de productos, creados especialmente para proteger a la población y hacer sentir a las mujeres realizadas en su “Maduritud” (?) gracias a las toallitas.

Cuidado con los ciudadanos decentes! que las mujeres mayores de 50 años que no usan Poise, pueden alcanzarlos con un golpe de fluído desde su vagina escupidora, que les puede sacar un ojo ipso facto, al más puro estilo del Guanaco andino!

La verdad es que nuestra vagina no es el problema; es el patriarcado quien tiene un problema con nuestras vaginas, con el ser “Mujer” y las infinitas posibilidades que ello implica; Como siempre, la ideología nos hace responsables de aquellas cosas que sólo al Patriarcado le molestan. Si ya sabemos que la búsqueda de la mujer perfecta es una imposición enfermiza irrealizable – ya que no existe tal mujer y siempre será mejor ser una mujer plena que una mujer perfecta- procuremos lograr en esta vida el estatus de vagina gozosa; sin importar cuan grande, peluda o multicolor pueda ser ya que, es obvio, la búsqueda por la vagina perfecta nos llevará a tener entre las piernas algo que será cualquier cosa, menos una saludable vagina.

Fuente (con gracias): http://nasreenvrblog.wordpress.com

Nasreen Amina | Mariposas en la Tormenta


Women who have suffered violence from a partner (%)

WHO region Prevalence
Source: WHO, London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, South African Medical Research Council
Low and middle-income regions
AFRICA (Botswana, Cameroon, DR Congo, Ethiopia, Kenya, Lesotho, Liberia, Malawi, Mozambique, Namibia, Rwanda, South Africa, Swaziland, Uganda, Tanzania, Zambia, Zimbabwe) 36.6%
AMERICAS (Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, El Salvador, Haiti, Honduras, Jamaica, Mexico, Nicaragua, Paraguay, Peru, Bolivia) 29.8%
EASTERN MEDITERRANEAN (Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Jordan, Palestinian territories) 37.0%
EUROPE (Albania, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Lithuania, Rep of Moldova, Romania, Russia, Serbia, Turkey, Ukraine) 25.4%
SOUTH-EAST ASIA (Bangladesh, East Timor, India, Burma, Sri Lanka, Thailand) 37.7%
WESTERN PACIFIC (Cambodia, China, Philippines, Samoa, Vietnam) 24.6%
High income(Australia, Canada, Croatia, Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Hong Kong, Iceland, Ireland, Israel, Japan, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, South Korea, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, UK, US) 23.2%

Women who have suffered violence from someone

who was not their partner (%)

WHO region Prevalence

Source: WHO, London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, South African Medical Research Council

Low and middle income
Africa 11.9%
Americas 10.7%
Eastern Mediterranean No data
Europe 5.2%
South-East Asia 4.9%
Western Pacific 6.8%
High income 12.6%

Author: thefreeonline

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6 thoughts on “Houston, is my Vagina a Problem for you?”

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  4. “I see the problem…your vagina is full of priests, politicians, doctors, sexists, husbands, toxic beauty products and dozens of macho marketing morons.”

    Priests? No, they just don’t want to be forced to give out birth control.
    Politicians? No, they’re just debating about birth control and abortion, etc.
    Doctors? Well, yeah. They’re the ones trying to help you if you’re having issues.
    Sexists? No, but anyone who questions anything women do is a “sexist” so it’s pretty vague.
    Husbands? Well, yeah. They’re the husband. Obviously they’ll be having sex with the wife. Unless it’s a sad marriage where the wife is a cold fish.
    Toxic beauty products? No, those generally don’t exist for vaginas. Even if they do, they aren’t toxic.
    Macho marketing morons? No, most of the people marketing this stuff to women ARE WOMEN. Women are also the ones who want it/demand it, otherwise it wouldn’t exist in the market.

    Whoever wrote this article and made that picture is an idiot.


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