reblogged with thanks from: http://betternotbroken.com/2…

1. Teasing my children or spouse and pointing out their flaws repeatedly  in jest makes them stronger. It toughens them up for the “real world” where people treat others like shit. It teaches them to take a joke.

Repeated verbal abuse chips away slowly at self-esteem and undermines a person’s base of inner power. It does not make you stronger. It sets up the lesson that people treat others like crap and teaches your children to expect abuse as normal from other people. It elevates accepting abuse to a prideful status. It also creates abusers who tease and degrade other people and then pretend they are doing others a favor in the process.

Think this myth is true? Tease back. Not one single person I have met, and I have had a perfect record of being attracted to abusive intimate partners well as abusive friends, has had the “strength” to take their own medicine.  This is passive aggression, i.e. gutless aggression where the aggressor wants to hurt you but come out smelling like a rose. This behavior is a deeply entrenched pastime in our society and culture. Continue reading “Three Common Beliefs That Make Abuse Innate to Our World”